Loony tunes favoured by cheap luxury motor insurance
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"We're so pretty, oh so pretty!" went the infamous Sex Pistols number back in 1977. Thing is though, the members who made up the popular anti-establishment beat combo were not. Far from it infact. You've probably never witnessed such a cornucopia of sheer ugliness in your entire natural. Unless of course you've had the rank misfortune to come across Martin Keown on your travels. A man not so much hit with the ugly stick as having been battered to within an inch of his natural by the fairest leveller of men.
So you'll be pleased to know Nissan were singing off the same hymn sheet, only slightly more meaningfully when they designed the car that's just been awarded the accolade of being Best Performance car in class at the Autoexpress 2006 Driver Power Survey. And it'll be further music to your ears to find it was at the expense of such usual class swots that answer the roll call with names like Boxster, Porsche and Audi TT. Splendid.
Not only did they beat the aforementioned into a cocked hat, but they left a further 97 with the advice 'must try harder' echoing in their cockpits. The more than aesthetically-pleasurable 350Z scored a mightily impressive end of year grade of 97.78% in the prized subject of owner satisfaction. A bootylicious 5% more than its nearest rival - the Boxster (92.77%), and a wholesome 7.69% ahead of the TT (90.09%). Making it something of a proposition when bearing in mind these figures were based on performance, ride, handling and general 'living with' - and absolutely zilch to do with its stunning looks.
Still, it's followed in rather fetching footsteps if I'm not very much mistaken. I recall a 1990 TV commercial that was directed by someone called Ridley Scott. You may have heard of him. Whereby he compared the acceleration of the then all-new Nissan 300ZX to that of, in chronological order, a motorbike, a race car, and finally, a jet plane. However, that was exactly where it all went wrong though. Even an ever-mooning, illiterate northern monkey like me with a fascination with all manner of machinery knew there were fibs been told thereabouts. In essence it was too advanced. And ultimately too expensive for a market that was on the verge of seriously beginning to question the ethics of ploughing vast sums of dough into a set of wheels in a pseudo-supercar, yet clearly production car market that was showing signs of a slump. The beautiful 300ZX sold, but never in the regions the pen-chomping project engineers in the land of the rising orb had envisaged, and by 1996, she was flat-lining. The suits at Nissan decided to pull the plug later that year on the by-now mentally suspect jalopy.
Like pork to a certain religious following though, once you've tasted a forbidden fruit (or in their case meat by-product) you can't help being drawn back to the place of your initial downfall. Ignoring the delights of the delicatessen, Nissan in their wisdom, couldn't help but to fiddle with assorted Mechano bits and bobs during the following years, culminating in the Z concept - aired for the first time at the 1999 North American International Auto Show in where else, but Detroit. Its curvaceous lines were admittedly not perfected, and what made it worse was the 240SX running gear they had hidden where the engine should have been, yet, despite their best efforts to put you off my coating the almost Eve-like motor in the most intense paint job that the colour orange could scream at you, it created a stirring in the loins of those party to the automotive sermon that was taking place there that day. And there was re-borne a fabled legend. So when Nissan decided to resurrect the doomed letters associated with utter Jap madness proper, they had to make sure the economic climate could sustain a second coming.
Dropping the X whilst holding onto the Z, and fooling around with the numerals swapping one 0 for a 5, the car took its first tentative steps. Tentative maybe not have been the correct vernacular given that the newly monikered 350Z appeared to have been feasting on steroids in a way that would make many would-be Olympians blush. Billed as the bait to ensnare BMW's M3 and Porsche's Boxster, it duly completed its task without even going through its stretching exercises. Maintaining the true sports car ethos of having a front-mounted engine, rear-wheel drive, 2 seats and a cute ass, it arrived on our shores in 2003. having gone down a treat in America where it had also put pay to the mobile chest-wig that was the Corvette, so whilst omens were good, it had to still win hearts and minds and record victories where it mattered most - in the sales charts. Which of course it did, and still does, as the Autoexpress survey finding revealed.
So what of it? Tell me more?
Well the 350ZX was constructed on Nissans much trumpeted FM platform, which stood for Front Midship. Which, for lack of technical expertise meant it had something to do with the positioning of the engine. Somewhere further back, unlike most front engined motors, Nissan believed needless lumpen weight spread right over the front wheels is ill-advised. So they fitted their power unit snugly behind the front wheels. And what an impressive payload it was. Packing as it did and does a 3.5 litre V6 down its automotive pantie-regions, which in turn demands that 287 equines charge forward to aid urgency in the protracted movements of the vehicle. This V6 offers 24 valves per cylinder of muscle, dual overhead cams, variable valve timing, electronically controlled throttle and one of those nifty little drinks holders. The bit under the bonnet links to a 6-speed manual transmission, or 5-speed auto box, the power being routed to the wheels via a carbon-fibre driveshaft. Those that posses slightly more than a G.C.S.E in Combined Sciences can inform us that haven't, that this special driveshaft weighs some 40% less than a comparable steel unit.
When the drools dried up from standing staring at its bodywork, then you go and lick the windows. And get ready to embrace the insides. Where you can't fail to notice a comprehensive array of gadgetry. Unless you're eyes are glued together. Unlike the 350ZX's rivals in this class all that pans out before you is both functional and at hand. Turn the key, buckle up and you're off. Less than 6 seconds later you feel a tad disorientated. With a top end being limited to 155mph chances are your Quiche Lorraine isn't going to repeat on you. Suspension and wheels are honed from a sheet of aluminium and massive vented-discs are found in each corner. Being a standard 18" in diameter the wheels are best described as ludicrous. 6-spoke 18" would of course be more informative, wrapped sympathetically in Bridgestone Potenza rubberness, they help you stick to the road.
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